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OOC - Rovigno's Story [Ruby City]
Dec. 10th, 2012 06:18 pmSo I figured it was best I just had a post by itself explaining what Rovigno basically is.
TW: Lots of headcanons dumped in here, psychological bullshit, mind games, unpopular opinions, etc.
Okay, basically, Rovigno is the result of me playing with Lovino's psyche on hard mode. It's a known fact that you can only play with someone's mind so long before it breaks, and Rovigno is what happens when Lovino's mind is played with for a good while after that point.
Rovigno started back when Lovino came back to the city and found out Feliciano was not only in love with him, but leaving him for Germany. Without any previous memories left of his relationship with Feli, Lovi was forced to questions his feelings for his brother all over again, and alone. And act on them at the same time. And this all while still adjusting to the city itself. So Lovi put himself under a lot more pressure than necessary, and... nations aren't quite built for pressure. That's why they all end up a little loopy.
Feli and Lovi have never really had a healthy relationship from the start, but the pressure of it started crushing Lovi. Half of him wanted to stop and just be brothers, and the other was madly head-over-heels for Feli. The gap between those two kept being stretched; his brother side constantly wanting to tug away and set boundaries and be methodical, and the lover side fearing Germany, needing to be close and just wanting a shameless affair.
This also goes into male psychology; when a man is in love, he tugs away for a while, acts independant, prances around, and then slams back into his lover with a hurricane of affection, uses up all his energy and goes back. That's an exaggerated version, but that's basic male instinct right there from a purely apathetical viewpoint. Unfortunately, when Lovi went to stretch and get his 30 minutes of freedom, Feli got terrified of being left, and Lovi was terrified of scaring Feli. So he never tugged away, and never got his freedom. And the brotherly side of him got pissed.
See, with nations, family bonds aren't necessarily strong. Most countries are not biologically related (unless they are twins) because all nations are born human. The italies are not biological relatives, but being so long to each other and sharing people made them close to identical appearance-wise. Their DNA matches pretty nicely, all that fun stuff. But they don't have the instinctive bond, it was forged because they wanted to have it. When Lovi began to resent Feli, it wasn't quite sibling rivalry. Before long, it turned into roommate resentment, and on to something that isn't quite hatred, but very close to it. Feli has always gotten his way at Lovi's expense, stolen what he wants without noticing. And now he was stealing Lovi's freedom.
There were little things tearing at Lovi's patience. Days when Feli wanted him to do work, or asked him to talk about things, or went on his little autistic "let me tell you about everything I did today without you" rambles, irritated Lovi more and more. His inability to make Feli focus on him or to leave the house without Feli worrying about him were pretty big factors. And the lover's spats continued getting worse and worse, until Lovi started brutally attacking Feli from time to time. The lover part of him was horrified of the transformation, but the brotherly side could not be happier. He was finally wearing Feli down the way he'd been worn down.
I think his advances on Spain were also like that. He used Canada to replace the gap Feli left in his heart, but Spain was mostly to spite Feli. The appeal in Spain is that he cares about Lovi, and will give him space because he knows Lovi likes being independent and coming back when he damn well feels like it. Lovi harbors no romantic attraction to Spain, merely to the idea of Spain; someone who will be there to coddle him when he gets home from doing whatever he wants, and will praise him for everything he does right and ignore anything he does wrong. And most of all, who will let him be himself and not judge him for it. That made a great improvement over Feli's clinginess and suspicion.
Lovi slowly began treating Feli more and more brutally; playing love games with him, having several one-night-stands, and having very irregular, inconsistent behavior. One day he would be bright and chipper and loving, the next he would be irritable and argumentative, just trying to rile Feli up. Worse, he'd spend half of his time coming up with ways to make Feli happy, and the other half coming up with ways to make him suffer. Most notably when he stayed up for several days straight to make Feli a dollhouse, but followed it up with sex and accompanying "by the way, this is a secret, get out of my house".
Lovi's personality didn't really split for a while. The transitions were smooth, and his memories were not separate between the two. It was not until the memory-loss event, when Lovi's reasons for resentment went out the window. He didn't understand why he felt searing pain just from looking at Feli, or why he kept imagining him filled with bullet-holes, and the thoughts just made him strive harder to fall in love with him. Before the memories truly left there was a night where one of their arguments ended what could technically be called Feli abusing Lovi, although dubiously consensual and triggered by Lovi's pestering. Lovi saw it as full-on unprecedented assault, and was traumatized by it. The lover side of him grew even weaker.
The morning after the memory loss was fixed, Lovi woke up in Feli's arms and completely lost it. Feli was beaten, strangled and thrown into the street to fend for himself, and Lovi, for all intents and purposes, lost consciousness. Rovigno had awoken. He called himself Romano at first, refusing his human side as that is how he saw the other half of himself. He viewed himself as purely a country, and therefore superior. During his first awakening he flirted with women, violently attacked Karkat Vantas, and had a few other choice encounters before finally being knocked out by a rock while he half-drowned at the beginning of the island event.
And then Lovi walked in on Spain kissing Germany. Both sides of Lovi were brutally injured, and Lovi teetered right on the edge of insanity. Not only had he lost the ultimate prize and his own big brother, he was losing it to that same guy who stole his first boyfriend, who also happened to be that guy he'd first fallen in love with when he was a little kid, who'd completely ignored him in favor of Feli. The first of many things Feli had stolen had just stolen the thing Lovi wanted the most. Rovigno came very close to re-awakening, but he clammed him down at the last second and hid the hurt. His lover's side used up a lot of his strength accomplishing that.
Back from the island, Lovi became more and more volatile. He went into mourning; he wouldn't eat or sleep or move, and most of his time he spent hiding under his bed. Vermine invaded his house, and he didn't move. Mice nibbled at his toes, and he didn't move. On the few occasions that Feli convinced him to leave the house, he went right back inside. He discovered that blood triggered Rovigno, as his lover's side would recoil and weaken at the sight. This was truly realized when he got in a brutal fight with Eridan, followed soon after with words written in blood on the walls of his apartment.
The wounds he carried had begun to rot by the time Feli found him, so very far beyond infection, and he went into a coma soon after. During that time he constantly dreamed that he was in a completely empty space, safe for himself and a copy of him; Rovigno. While guitar music quietly played in the background, Rovigno pestered Lovino endlessly about any opening he could find; his relationship, his past, his illnesses, Feli, Spain, Germany, absolutely anything. Lovino shrunk into himself, terrified by the demon inside of him. And Rovigno began planning to break him completely, and take the body completely for himself.
It's a miracle Lovi lasted so long without breaking, actually. While Feli nursed him back to health, he didn't think much, and thus he had no resentment or negative feelings to feed Rovigno with. But finally, it became too much. Lovino broke, and Rovigno was officially free. And now, he drifts through the streets without any real goal, seeking pleasure and entertainment without any real plan in mind.
The thing that would most likely cure Rovigno at this point is finding someone who accepts him. Not who can put up with him, or who is out to cure him, but someone who truly thinks his feelings are acceptable. Who will let him be independent and come back at random intervals to love on his terms. He is like a cat; he goes where food is, provided the door remains open for him. He sits on someone's lap until they've petted him too much, and leaves without another word. Feli has lost his chance, after too much smothering; Rovigno will never be able to love him as anything anymore. That is why Lovino is so broken; he is the part of Romano that wants to be accepted and loved no matter what, the person who wants to please others, while Rovign only wants to be pleased. Both halves of him must be loved equally, before they can merge back together and be one person.
TW: Lots of headcanons dumped in here, psychological bullshit, mind games, unpopular opinions, etc.
Okay, basically, Rovigno is the result of me playing with Lovino's psyche on hard mode. It's a known fact that you can only play with someone's mind so long before it breaks, and Rovigno is what happens when Lovino's mind is played with for a good while after that point.
Rovigno started back when Lovino came back to the city and found out Feliciano was not only in love with him, but leaving him for Germany. Without any previous memories left of his relationship with Feli, Lovi was forced to questions his feelings for his brother all over again, and alone. And act on them at the same time. And this all while still adjusting to the city itself. So Lovi put himself under a lot more pressure than necessary, and... nations aren't quite built for pressure. That's why they all end up a little loopy.
Feli and Lovi have never really had a healthy relationship from the start, but the pressure of it started crushing Lovi. Half of him wanted to stop and just be brothers, and the other was madly head-over-heels for Feli. The gap between those two kept being stretched; his brother side constantly wanting to tug away and set boundaries and be methodical, and the lover side fearing Germany, needing to be close and just wanting a shameless affair.
This also goes into male psychology; when a man is in love, he tugs away for a while, acts independant, prances around, and then slams back into his lover with a hurricane of affection, uses up all his energy and goes back. That's an exaggerated version, but that's basic male instinct right there from a purely apathetical viewpoint. Unfortunately, when Lovi went to stretch and get his 30 minutes of freedom, Feli got terrified of being left, and Lovi was terrified of scaring Feli. So he never tugged away, and never got his freedom. And the brotherly side of him got pissed.
See, with nations, family bonds aren't necessarily strong. Most countries are not biologically related (unless they are twins) because all nations are born human. The italies are not biological relatives, but being so long to each other and sharing people made them close to identical appearance-wise. Their DNA matches pretty nicely, all that fun stuff. But they don't have the instinctive bond, it was forged because they wanted to have it. When Lovi began to resent Feli, it wasn't quite sibling rivalry. Before long, it turned into roommate resentment, and on to something that isn't quite hatred, but very close to it. Feli has always gotten his way at Lovi's expense, stolen what he wants without noticing. And now he was stealing Lovi's freedom.
There were little things tearing at Lovi's patience. Days when Feli wanted him to do work, or asked him to talk about things, or went on his little autistic "let me tell you about everything I did today without you" rambles, irritated Lovi more and more. His inability to make Feli focus on him or to leave the house without Feli worrying about him were pretty big factors. And the lover's spats continued getting worse and worse, until Lovi started brutally attacking Feli from time to time. The lover part of him was horrified of the transformation, but the brotherly side could not be happier. He was finally wearing Feli down the way he'd been worn down.
I think his advances on Spain were also like that. He used Canada to replace the gap Feli left in his heart, but Spain was mostly to spite Feli. The appeal in Spain is that he cares about Lovi, and will give him space because he knows Lovi likes being independent and coming back when he damn well feels like it. Lovi harbors no romantic attraction to Spain, merely to the idea of Spain; someone who will be there to coddle him when he gets home from doing whatever he wants, and will praise him for everything he does right and ignore anything he does wrong. And most of all, who will let him be himself and not judge him for it. That made a great improvement over Feli's clinginess and suspicion.
Lovi slowly began treating Feli more and more brutally; playing love games with him, having several one-night-stands, and having very irregular, inconsistent behavior. One day he would be bright and chipper and loving, the next he would be irritable and argumentative, just trying to rile Feli up. Worse, he'd spend half of his time coming up with ways to make Feli happy, and the other half coming up with ways to make him suffer. Most notably when he stayed up for several days straight to make Feli a dollhouse, but followed it up with sex and accompanying "by the way, this is a secret, get out of my house".
Lovi's personality didn't really split for a while. The transitions were smooth, and his memories were not separate between the two. It was not until the memory-loss event, when Lovi's reasons for resentment went out the window. He didn't understand why he felt searing pain just from looking at Feli, or why he kept imagining him filled with bullet-holes, and the thoughts just made him strive harder to fall in love with him. Before the memories truly left there was a night where one of their arguments ended what could technically be called Feli abusing Lovi, although dubiously consensual and triggered by Lovi's pestering. Lovi saw it as full-on unprecedented assault, and was traumatized by it. The lover side of him grew even weaker.
The morning after the memory loss was fixed, Lovi woke up in Feli's arms and completely lost it. Feli was beaten, strangled and thrown into the street to fend for himself, and Lovi, for all intents and purposes, lost consciousness. Rovigno had awoken. He called himself Romano at first, refusing his human side as that is how he saw the other half of himself. He viewed himself as purely a country, and therefore superior. During his first awakening he flirted with women, violently attacked Karkat Vantas, and had a few other choice encounters before finally being knocked out by a rock while he half-drowned at the beginning of the island event.
And then Lovi walked in on Spain kissing Germany. Both sides of Lovi were brutally injured, and Lovi teetered right on the edge of insanity. Not only had he lost the ultimate prize and his own big brother, he was losing it to that same guy who stole his first boyfriend, who also happened to be that guy he'd first fallen in love with when he was a little kid, who'd completely ignored him in favor of Feli. The first of many things Feli had stolen had just stolen the thing Lovi wanted the most. Rovigno came very close to re-awakening, but he clammed him down at the last second and hid the hurt. His lover's side used up a lot of his strength accomplishing that.
Back from the island, Lovi became more and more volatile. He went into mourning; he wouldn't eat or sleep or move, and most of his time he spent hiding under his bed. Vermine invaded his house, and he didn't move. Mice nibbled at his toes, and he didn't move. On the few occasions that Feli convinced him to leave the house, he went right back inside. He discovered that blood triggered Rovigno, as his lover's side would recoil and weaken at the sight. This was truly realized when he got in a brutal fight with Eridan, followed soon after with words written in blood on the walls of his apartment.
The wounds he carried had begun to rot by the time Feli found him, so very far beyond infection, and he went into a coma soon after. During that time he constantly dreamed that he was in a completely empty space, safe for himself and a copy of him; Rovigno. While guitar music quietly played in the background, Rovigno pestered Lovino endlessly about any opening he could find; his relationship, his past, his illnesses, Feli, Spain, Germany, absolutely anything. Lovino shrunk into himself, terrified by the demon inside of him. And Rovigno began planning to break him completely, and take the body completely for himself.
It's a miracle Lovi lasted so long without breaking, actually. While Feli nursed him back to health, he didn't think much, and thus he had no resentment or negative feelings to feed Rovigno with. But finally, it became too much. Lovino broke, and Rovigno was officially free. And now, he drifts through the streets without any real goal, seeking pleasure and entertainment without any real plan in mind.
The thing that would most likely cure Rovigno at this point is finding someone who accepts him. Not who can put up with him, or who is out to cure him, but someone who truly thinks his feelings are acceptable. Who will let him be independent and come back at random intervals to love on his terms. He is like a cat; he goes where food is, provided the door remains open for him. He sits on someone's lap until they've petted him too much, and leaves without another word. Feli has lost his chance, after too much smothering; Rovigno will never be able to love him as anything anymore. That is why Lovino is so broken; he is the part of Romano that wants to be accepted and loved no matter what, the person who wants to please others, while Rovign only wants to be pleased. Both halves of him must be loved equally, before they can merge back together and be one person.